Blog 17.11.2022

How much space are you taking? When you’re in a conversation, in a meeting, or even at knockoff drinks?

‘Taking up space’ might be a novel concept or if you have been tuned into conversations about different behaviours in gender or racial constructs, you’ve probably heard of it.

Perhaps, it’s easiest to think of it in a literal sense so we can visualise it better. According to studies by the Washington Post and Researchgate, amongst others, men are more comfortable taking space on the sidewalk which means they rarely change their path and women often move out of their way. Now let’s apply this to conversations, meeting rooms, or even zoom calls.

There is simply a limited amount of space in each conversation, whether it’s a time boundary or the fact that almost nobody can listen to two people talking at once. So when you walk into a room or a chat, consciously assess the other people there. Are there some people who might feel less comfortable taking space than you? Maybe those people are of a different gender, race or ability. Maybe they’re much younger than you and they’re inexperienced. The point is if you don’t leave room for them to talk, the likelihood is they probably won’t.

If you’re a white cisgender male, chances are your voice has been heard, over and over again. And people will typecast you as someone who has a valuable opinion. You have a lot less to prove in a professional or even social circumstance than a non-binary person, a trans man or a brown woman, and so forth. This happens in adland every day. Just read the Create Space consensus report here if you’d like to see the numbers.

There are a lot of racially diverse or gender diverse people who have been code-switching for so long, they don’t even know they’re doing it anymore. According to HBR, code-switching involves “adjusting one’s style of speech, appearance, behaviour, and expression in ways that will optimise the comfort of others in exchange for fair treatment, quality service, and employment opportunities”. Which essentially means we walk into a room adjusting ourselves in almost every way just to exist in that space. Now, imagine having to do that in the first three seconds you’ve joined almost every conversation. Then having the guts to speak up and say what you think when nobody’s asking you for an opinion.

The thing about ‘making space’ is that one of the most helpful things you can do is to do nothing. I know. Seems counterintuitive, right? But just try staying silent. Listen. If you feel like you have something important to say and don’t want to forget it, write it down and say it at the end of the meeting. Encourage the silent types in the room to share their thoughts by using the lulls in conversation to prompt them rather than speak.

Plus, think of it this way… if everyone sitting in the room with you has the same opinion as you and not much to refute, chances are you’re from the same background, gender and socioeconomic class. If you’d like some diversity in your thinking, it’s essential to ask the opinions of people who look and sound nothing like you.

So, the next time you hop on a meeting or even a conversation with a mate or partner, ask yourself: “Am I taking up too much space?” And if you notice someone else is taking up too much space, ask another person there what they think instead so it encourages less homogeneous thinking.

—

Posted on Mumbrella, 17 November 2022